As bad as the polar vortex that froze the Midwest last week was, it was the perfect storm to allow me the chance to do things for myself. Last semester I experienced extreme burnout, so this semester, I knew I had to do something different to preserve the brain power I have left. Compared to last semester, this semester is going much better, but the classes being a one-eighty difference is helping significantly. When I think about how long I have been in school, it has been my entire life except for four years. Do not get me wrong, I love being a student (most of the time), but it is physically and mentally draining. There comes the point when I need a break to regroup and do things for myself. I never understood the importance of this concept until someone put a name to it. Self-care. When I first learned about self-care, I thought, of course, I do that, but then, I realized I had not been doing it the right way. I would work on something and not stop until it was done, and even then, I may not take a breather. As my years in school progressed, I have whole-heartedly adopted self-care. It does not have to be something major, but it does have to be done. Instead of rewarding myself after accomplishing a huge project, I am more likely to take brain breaks along the way. I have noticed a difference in my work and my attitude going into a project. Whether it means taking a power nap before I begin on something or giving myself a day here or there to do exactly what I want to do before deadlines dictate my life, these are the things that self-care looks like for me. Especially after last week and having three days off because of the weather, I implemented self-care every day. Sleeping in and taking random naps here and there allowed me to catch up feeling somewhat rested. I told myself that if I got up and hit the academic things I needed to get done early in the day, I could have the rest of the day to do the things I wanted to do. And because I knew I had parts of three days to get a jump on work, I broke it all up further into little chunks, so I was not running a school marathon. Self-care is not a copout for avoiding the inevitable; it is a sure way to feel and be your best. The key to doing self-care right is be kind to yourself before you are running on empty. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019
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Think about it. Do you do your best work on the first day of doing something? Or do you taper off and just hope to slide by? We want to think we always do our best but let me be real for a second, despite our best efforts, it does not happen like that. I am guilty of this too. I am gung-ho to do something, and for the first day (and I will even throw in the first week), I give whatever it is my all. After that, I maintain my commitment, but if I let myself slack off, I lose momentum like a sinking ship. While I still thoroughly enjoy my lazy, couch potato days, I am trying to adopt a new mindset this year by living and breathing by a planner and making the days count. Our best impressions happen on the first day, and there is a renewed energy when a new adventure is about to begin. With every new day, there should be excitement for experiencing a day we have never met before and go forth with an open mind in the hope of learning and doing great things. Life is short, and while we think there are only so many chances to get fresh starts, Drew Dudley challenges this thinking. He proposed that we have an opportunity to have 365 chances every year to start on a clean slate, and if something does not go as planned today, tomorrow can begin anew. There have been days when I wish I could close my eyes and wish for a redo. Well, after hearing Drew speak and reading his book, I realize what I thought was impossible is actually possible. It may be somewhat unconventional, but I know I can benefit from changing my thought process and look at each new day as a chance to recreate opportunities and make the best impact I can. Living each day as day one begins now. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 A challenge comes between us and what the world tells us what to be in life. We have to beat it to the punch and say it to the world instead. As a child, we are told we can be anything we want to be, but as soon as that threshold of entering who the world has shown us what to become, we lose sight of who we had hoped to become in our innocence. The world treats us like property in determining our future as a what and strips us of a personalized identity. It is easy to fall into the trap of believing that the path we have fallen into is meant to be, but if for a second you are wondering if there is a better version of yourself waiting to emerge, it is time you start telling yourself and the world who you are and hope to be. When I heard Drew Dudley speak, he asked the audience to think about three character traits we would want someone else to recognize in us as if there was a thirty-day outsider-looking-in challenge. How would I want a stranger to evaluate my character? What should a knee-jerk reaction look like upon a random person somehow following me around for a month? Aside from this idea being a little creepy of a potential stalker, but the point here is what are we doing in our ordinary everyday lives to tell our story without words and only through actions? Well, the short of it is that the way to figure it out is by defining yourself before someone else does. Genuine. Diligent. Inquisitive. The adjectives I chose for myself can be applied to describe all aspects of my life, and I would hope these character traits are evident to others. I have always thought having a strong character was enough to figure out who I was, but until specific terms are associated with who I want to be and the person I hope others see in me, inaccurate terms could be what the world sees. It is my commitment to be genuine with my thoughts and feelings, relationships, and myself. It is my commitment to have robust diligence to my responsibilities, work, and passion projects. It is my commitment always to be inquisitive and never to stop learning. Before someone else does it for you, figure out and own the values that define you. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 Do you ever read a book and the words feel like they are a neon sign telling you to pay attention, and then think “wow, that was profound?” Well, that was me as I flipped through the pages of This Is Day One. I do not read for pleasure as much as I would like to, but when I do carve out some extra time, I want a book that packs a punch. I was captivated by the personal stories that seemed so applicable to the moments I am finding myself in during this chapter of life. Having a packed schedule is a blessing and a curse. It is go, go, go and get as much done as you possibly can in a day, and do this cycle on repeat for as long as you live. I know I get stuck in the motions of doing what has to be done, but it can sometimes feel like being trapped by the demands everyone else is placing on top of the laundry list of things we think we need to do too. It is a constant renumbering game of priorities and hoping you made the right ranks. I know for me, self- care and having some down time rarely take a top spot on any of the lists I have, and that is where the disconnect comes into play. If at any point it comes down to choosing between getting down to business or having fun, we are conditioned to believe we must stay disciplined to make every waking second count. We want to stay in our lane, so to speak, and avoid any unplanned interactions as much as possible. If you are anything like me, you want to live a scheduled and no-surprise life. This is where I need to continue to improve on my spontaneity. As Drew described this eye-opening perspective on life, I wish I could have felt like that was an easy fix or, better yet, I was already that person, but that is not the case. A young girl full of spunk was actually bouncing off the walls while Drew was reading while traveling. Without spoiling anything, I will say a conversation took place, and the little girl said, “I’m always free if I want to be.” Again, wow! No matter what the world tells you and the norms we think we are expected to follow, there is always room to let yourself soar and be free to explore, meet new people, and not do what someone else says you should be doing. When the confines of my scheduling and deadlines are beginning to feel like they have me in a chokehold, I am going to be more mindful and remind myself that if I want to be, my spirit is free. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 The question, “are you a leader?” was posed to me. Deep down, I thought the answer was yes, but according to society’s idea of leadership, I was not so sure anymore. We are programmed to believe that a leader is a public figure making a name for him and his brand. For some, they may be okay living in the mind trap thinking this world can only accommodate a certain number of leaders, and they just are not big enough to fill those shoes. But for me, I am not willing to sit idle and let time and opportunities pass me by in this life. I did a quick Google search of the definition of a leader. I read through a few, and to be frank, they stunk. The ideas various dictionaries suggested were limiting and small-minded. It took scrolling through a small business blog to find a definition I could get behind and support. “Leadership is the art of motivating a group of people to act towards achieving a common goal.” This a good starting place, but ultimately, I think defining leadership for ourselves is what must be done. The impact we make matters far more than the size of the contribution we give. Having power does not make a person a leader; how a person chooses to implement power determines the ability to call them a leader. If you do something just for the sake of holding a title or getting special recognition, you are not a leader. I am willing to propose that leadership can be derived from humbleness and extraordinary outcomes can be first planted by ordinary people who just so happen to have inner-leader waiting to blossom. The characterization of a leader can be challenging, but for me, I see a leader who is willing to do and guide efforts that what will lead to making a difference for the better. For me, I found my first position in leadership during high school. There was a lot I did not know, but I knew enough to at least start and be able to say I tried. Being in high school influenced the types of activities we were able to do and the outcomes of those actions. This was my first glimpse of understanding that big is not always better, and that thoughtfulness and comradery would leave a lasting impression over the fanfare others were able to do. You see, it is not about enforcing a power trip. Showing meticulous care as a leader allows for a bond to form, and when the job was too big for one person, a leader can recognize the strengths of team members and distribute the load. My first year as a leader, I thought because we were not doing things big, we were not doing enough. I learned that building trust, commitment, and doing our best was more important than the funds we raised or the fanfare. My age had nothing to do with the type of leader I was able to be; being willing to do a job and helping others reach their best potential had everything to do with being a leader. As the years went on, my leadership style transformed. I learned from mistakes yet grew into new positions. With maturity, our contributions matured with us, but the take away from my years in that leadership position is that it started small, and it did not matter because those efforts were accomplished with meaningful leadership. A leader is a leader no matter the size. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 This year had its moments, but overall, it was a good year I do not want to forget. Many milestones took place, and while my sanity was on the fleeting verge of escaping me, I am ending the year with a happy heart and ready to roll into 2019 recharged. I will not rehash the earlier memories of the year since those have probably been in umpteen photo montages. My friends and I have made so many accomplishments this year, and I do not say that to brag. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders and this semester is evidence enough. Through countless hours of studying together, watching a few (or more) episodes of Friends, and eating many meals together, we saw each other through the highs and lows. There is an obvious theme for what gets us through each semester. I was especially excited to finish up last year’s research project and take it to present at ASHA. Going to ASHA is a thrilling experience but getting to present (for the second time) is incredible. This year marked the close of a project we saw through from almost the beginning, and publications for the last two presentations will soon be coming. Seeing the hard work become something that will contribute to research is surreal. What initially started as narratives and lists of themes quickly became something that meant more than I could have ever imagined. The day to present came, and I was stoked. Throughout this year’s ASHA, I made a point to interact more with the professionals with interests that aligned with mine and hoped to meet some of them if the opportunity arose. Well, sure enough, I ran into many of the people I met through Friends, as well as attend sessions of whom I have read numerous articles from and gain inspiration. Getting to listen to Glen Tellis, Scott Yaruss, Craig Coleman, and Ken St. Louis had to be some of my favorite ASHA moments. Not only did I absorb every word they said in their sessions, but I also had the privilege of researching with Dr. St. Louis and Dr. Gabel and present that research to some prominent people in the field. As the year went on, I felt such a metamorphosis take place, and I owe that to an opportunity to earn an additional certificate alongside my master’s degree. When I started out wanting to pursue speech-language pathology, I thought I wanted to work with special needs children and only that. As I got involved in research with my advisor, I realized the purpose and passion I have for the profession was taking me down a different path than what I expected. Stuttering became a huge area of interest for me, and I knew I wanted to make that a focus as I went through the rest of my education. Taking extra coursework to fulfill the certificate in this area and creating my research project were breakthroughs in further discovering what my future held and what I hoped to do with the new knowledge and guidance I have received this semester. Besides a huge thanks to my parents and friends for dealing with me being a wreck at times, I also need to thank my academic and research advisor, Dr. Gabel. Without him, I know I would not be at the place I am today. He opened my eyes to another side of the profession and made a way to give us the best opportunities to gain perspectives and a chance to take ownership of our interests. It is not every day you meet a professor who cares that much about the success of their students, as well as show genuine concern when struggles come. I cannot begin to place a value on the investment he made in my education and hopeful research, and I will forever be grateful for that. I had a strong support team all semester long. I feared I would be letting them down, but they kept holding me up no matter what. That is partly what made this semester so hard. I had come so far and being a student was what I have always been good at, so keeping up with my own standards made me push myself even harder. In that aspect, I have always been a pleaser, and I irrationally equate academic performance and achievements to worth. While being my worst critic, I internalized every little thing that happened this year, and once I let go of unrealistic demands only I was placing on myself and appreciating the little things that made me happy, I knew that the only way I would be letting down the people who have cheered me along was by not doing what I love. So much of this year has been a blur, yet it felt like an eternity at the same time. I learned more about myself and grew in my hopes and desires. Through networking, I have met wonderful people. By being curious, I am actively searching for answers through research. And, for the first time, instead of asking others, I am asking myself: “do I make you proud?” Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2018 Since coming back from ASHA, I had a breakthrough of sorts. This semester has been challenging in more ways than I think I was prepared to encounter. I struggled with seeing the journey for what it is presently, rather than what I found myself focusing on: the entire grad school experience. But attending ASHA and seeing thousands of people doing what they do best was the jolt I needed to snap out of the anxious state I found myself in for the entire semester. If that many people could survive the seemingly never-ending cycle of worrying, crying, and studying, I could too. Seeing the community of SLPs who are fulfilling their dreams, helping people, and making advances in research was the exact glimpse of survival through grad school I needed to break my own negative cycle. I came back with a renewed energy to finish my classes with less stress and such a strong desire to pour my heart into my research project. Being so stuck in my stubborn ways of planning every detail out made me lose the excitement I thought I should have for the future I wanted. Having an internal battle with my heart and mind was the most frustrating and exhausting thing to work through. Somewhere, my ability to rationalize beyond the stress was lost, and I was letting a little bump in the road escalate to be a mountain-sized problem in my head. I had gotten to a point where I questioned everything, but deep down, never doubted anything. There was something that made me still believe that I loved every second even when the tears and frustration made it look and feel like I hated it. Going into grad school, I had mixed emotions, and they only became more intense when the semester was in full swing. I went through the motions of survival and hoped I did not go down like a sinking ship. Having a health issue in the middle of it all did not help my case either. So, when ASHA rolled around, I was hardly feeling much better, and adhesive heat packs were my best friends. As much as I was looking forward to going, I knew it was going to be a hard trip for me. With the help of my friends who were willing enough to bandage me up and obliged by staying in and ordering takeout, I survived. Compared to last year’s ASHA we went from being girls’ night out to The Golden Girls. Having a good stack of homework that had to get done was enough to keep us in anyway. With as much that was going on between school, ASHA, and life in general, my mind was consumed and overwhelmed. I knew the desires of my heart; I could not get my brain to think beyond the stress and see the light at the end of the tunnel would come soon enough. The idea of giving up on my dreams was never an option, but I struggled with wondering if I would ever make it. The fear of failure was real, and looking back now, I realized I let it escalate to heights that were disproportionate to the current state of the matter. It took going to Boston to get me out of this funk that made me not recognize myself anymore. There came the point in the semester before going to ASHA where a friend called me over, pulled out a picture, and said: “I miss this girl; get her back.” That was an ah-ha moment that made me aware of how much I was letting the pressure bother me. When my friends were noticing that big of a difference in me, I knew I had to snap out of it, and that paired with spending a few days in Boston to level my head, I began to think clearly again. Sure, this semester was tough, but I came out stronger. I was never second-guessing my decision to pursue the career path of my dreams. No matter how hard it got, I knew deep down there was still an excitement. When I returned, I dove back into my research project and got it to the next step of submitting it for board review before leaving for break, and I finished the semester without any tears. And compared to how the first part of the semester went, this was a major step forward. There was a new motivation to push through and get the job done no matter what it took. My clients got the best of me instead of what was left of me, and we made a partnership work to see the sessions to the end. Without going to ASHA, I would have still been stuck in a deep rut of letting every little thing get to me and stop me from being the student, clinician, and person I knew I could be. I needed to see that there was life after grad school and that others were either in the same boat as me currently or had been and still survived. This chapter of life sure has not been smooth sailing, but it makes me appreciate the good times. A good dose of reality and the small voice deep down made me remember that the reason I started this journey was that this is my passion. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2018 As a kid, you wonder what your future holds, and once you are an adult, you look back at the life you lived looked like. I am sitting in a prime spot in life to reflect back on the journey so far and look to the future to see where the journey continues. All I have ever known is going to school and checking boxes off my goals list. Now, I am at that point where I am closer to stepping foot in the real world and putting my plans into actions. Growing up, I think I have always been introspective and methodical in figuring out what I can do to contribute even the slightest of contributions to the world. We each have something that makes our light a little brighter and the sparkle in our eye shinier. Whatever that thing is lets us know we have found our calling in life. I somehow knew as an eighth grader that speech-language pathology was what I needed to do for the rest of my life, and nine years later, I am finding myself so close to becoming an SLP. I still get asked fairly often what an SLP is or what they do, and I still do not have a concise answer that adequately encompasses everything one may choose to hone into as an SLP. I mean, I know what we do and have a better grasp on the profession than I did when I first decided on it, but now that I know of the vastness of the range of our scope, it is impossible to give someone a quick snapshot. And, because of the rich diversity in my future profession, that makes me love it even more. The excitement is hard to contain when you get any group of SLPs together and have the chance to talk about all of the nerdy things we talk about, but it magnifies when these conversations take place at ASHA. It is like the ultimate family reunion of long-lost relatives you never knew about. There is an instant connection. I think what I enjoy the most is hearing what made other people decide speech-language pathology was for them. We all have unique reasons for choosing this career. But, beyond thinking of it as a career, it means so much more than that. SLPs are some of the most compassionate as well as hard-working people I have ever met. There is no dedication like spending countless hours working on therapy tools even if it means spending the better portion of a night laminating and cutting out what seems like millions of pieces. The level of concern shown towards families who are struggling to adapt to a new normal and relearning how to best communicate after a diagnosis is next to sainthood. The dedication of advocating for clients, families, and the profession as a whole is what keeps us going. At the end of the day, we are all trying to make the world a better place. We may not be superheroes in the traditional sense, but not every hero wears a cape. Some heroes find themselves forming goals, keeping data, and writing IEPs. Other heroes are those who get to witness a child saying their first words after countless tears shed, ensure safe swallowing practices for a stroke patient, and teach a person how to use an AAC device to ensure their voice is heard. My heart beats a little faster knowing this is my future. I owe it to my younger self for understanding enough to choose such an inspiring career, but more importantly for revealing my purpose. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2018 As the ASHA adventures continued, so many thoughts continued to consume me. My wheels were continually turning, and it felt like everything that was said hit home and resonated with me. I am still in awe of the keynote, and another point Roy Spence said made me reflect on its application to life beyond ASHA. He spoke of a mantra of Aristotle, “do good and be happy.” What a concept. I am sure I have heard this before, but with other things, I heard it, but it did not stick. This time, it stuck. Given the population hearing this address, I would say we all understood where he was going with this point in a different way than someone who may not be going into the helping profession. The most good cannot come from a heart that is not happy. If we are not taking steps to choose a career we love, then we are not going to be able to make the most meaningful and positive contribution to the world. Being happy is not enough either. If we are not passing along our happiness through our actions, then a selfish act is keeping us from showing the world what happiness can look like. The world needs to see the joy of giving and what helping others is all about. A reference to former presidents was made, and believe it or not, politics aside, if there is a need, differences can be set aside to ensure a positive solution is found. Roy Spence then went on to say, “God made us all different, and it is the only thing that unites us.” To know that we each have something unique only to us should teach us to work together to prove unity is the way to change. Without each person’s strengths working together for one purpose, the highest potential is not able to be reached. Finding common ground to achieve unity is not easy, but if decades’ worth of former presidents could look beyond political affiliations, we can do it too in our own communities and lines of work. What we are not able to contribute ourselves, we have an obligation to seek the help of others who can support and fill in the gaps we lack on our own. Two seemingly unrelated topics somehow met and made an impact that I will carry long into my career. I chose this career to help others, and even on the hardest of days, I must chip away at all of the negativity to reach happiness. We need a reminder in life that the world cannot steal our happiness. When we allow our happiness to take a back seat, we are unable to be and do our best. Doing good in this world must prevail no matter what we are up against in life. At the end of the day, as a future speech-language pathologist, I must prioritize the value of communication and humanity. I know that without a sense of community I seek in my fellow professionals, our services are not best serving our clients. And not only to serve in a helping profession is enough; we must be happy with the commitment we made to enter such a profession. I have said it before, and I think it is appropriate to say again. I am inspired by the people who chose this career path forty years ago and are just as enthusiastic and happy about their decision as they were on day one. As long as I still have that spark, I can confidently know my actions are done out of happiness, and the good I am doing is done from a place of compassion. Regardless of the careers we choose, and the life we live every day, we should take a step back to reflect on the reasons we chose to live that way. If we are not happy, it is time to time to do what does make us happy. If we are not doing something good, it is time to close that door and look to something that allows us to do good. If we are divided in our differences, it is time to see the commonality that the greater good must be served, and unity will win. These ideas are a reminder we can all benefit from, and just know that wherever we find ourselves, joy will lead the way. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2018 Going to an ASHA convention is an experience unlike any other. It is hard to put into words the feelings that come with going to ASHA, but I am going to try to capture some snapshots and highlights of the experience. This year’s ASHA took me to Boston, and now it has been a coast to coast adventure. Going to Boston in the wintery months was never on my bucket list, so the sightseeing endeavors had to be put on hold compared to last year’s Los Angeles shenanigans. Plus, grad school kept us preoccupied with trying to stay afloat. I do not know about anyone else, but I live for the keynote address in the opening session at ASHA. Through the years, I have attended my fair share of keynotes at various events, but this one was the best of the best. Roy Spence opened his mouth and inspiration spilled. Needless to say, I had chills during half of it and on the verge of tears the other half. As I sat there, in a convention room filled with thousands of professionals and professionals-to-be in the same field, I was overwhelmed by the unwavering commitment contained in that space. Roy made the statement, “when someone helps you, you can help someone else.” In our profession, that statement holds so much truth. We start our career with such a strong support system, and once we reach a stage in our career, we no longer rely on the same supports we once did and are able to become the support for another beginning their journey. So much of what we do is built on a pay it forward system, and the goal is to always serve the greater good. “Communication is a human right.” In a room full of people whose life mission is to ensure that people will always have a means of communication, this statement captured it all. I actually heard people say “amen” as those words were said. Regardless which path we take within the broad field, we are all doing our part to keep it that way. Communication, no matter how we do it, is essential to humanity. Without communication, there would be no exchange of ideas and innovations. Interactions would be nonexistent, and the extreme corners of the world would be further removed from accessibility. I said all of that to say this: communication is crucial in our world, and this solidifies the notion that what we have to say and contribute to this world matters and is important, no matter the means (conventional or otherwise) we utilize to express ourselves. I did not want the keynote portion of the convention to come to an end. If I did not know any better, it was as if I was walking out of a good church service. That is how good it felt leaving the opening session. The rest of the day, week, and even up to this very day for that matter, I have not stopped thinking about Roy’s impact and dedication to his own line of work. He put actions behind his words, and at one point in his life, he was just an ordinary person trying to make his mark on this great big world. Just like the rest of us sitting in that room, I was an ordinary person who has set out to make an impact, set aside differences, and show the world what humanity can really look like. Wherever we go in this life, there are going to be intersections, and those are the very places where ordinary meets extraordinary. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2018 |
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