In a society where white men have the upper hand, being a female or any minority proves to be an unseen challenge. My gender puts me at a disadvantage when it comes to determining my role and success. As a woman living in a white man’s world, I knew I would have to prove myself; I just did not know how much. This great divide of equality, in all areas of society, should not have a place in this world’s history. Call me naïve for believing all contributions should be valued with the same respect, and it should not matter who or what earns the credit. So what if the person does not fit a typical, or better yet, a popular image? All anyone should care about is the fact that a mark from someone will forever be embedded in history. It is beyond empowering to read about the women of this country’s history who were not held back by the life they were expected to live. These women made room for themselves in the fields they had a passion for following. Women like Susan B. Anthony, Amelia Earhart, Clara Barton, Katherine Johnson, and so many more made a place in an unlikely field. These women broke barriers and trail blazed in these fields in defining the roles they played and contributions they had to offer. In a country of equality, it sure does not feel like it. We still have some ground to cover in this battle for equal opportunity in normalizing women in science- and technology-based careers. I am reminded of a commercial that has a woman singing to the tune of a Wizard of Oz song interjecting to society that she “also has a brain.” For this commercial to be relevant still today and offering society such a strong message is beyond me. I absolutely see its need, but in the year 2017, it blows my mind that we still must justify and prove our interests and professional goals. I say to all the people stereotyping my decisions this: I can achieve whatever I set my mind to achieving. My gender is not a disability or an inferior attribute of my capabilities and character. My advice to any person seeking a place in a world meant for someone else is to wholeheartedly believe and do. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2017
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Just from my experience from dealing with people daily, my confidence is sometimes mistaken for rudeness. To equate confidence with a power trip is an unfair comparison. A snap judgment of my level of trust should not be the only factored idea to weigh on my character. The real issue I have here is the reasoning behind this unwarranted evaluation that is set to demean a woman, while confidence found in a man is a praised attribute. Having confidence should be a positive characteristic we all should have, and not be ashamed or condemned for having it. It appears it is believed kindness cannot be parallel with confidence. It is as though you can have one or the other, but not both. In some situations, it is good to be reserved in our choices, but in this case, I challenge it to the highest degree. Why can I not have both? I wholeheartedly believe it is possible to hold both virtues. It is like we are forced to decide if we are going to be a villain for being confident or a hero for being kind. That is not a decision I am willing to make. I will be the first to admit that stereotypes and gender roles have contributed to this broken belief system. By the definition of each word, I do not see how someone could argue confidence and kindness as being isolated features. Confidence is “the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.” Kindness is having “a good or benevolent nature or disposition.” Nowhere in either definition does it have a disclaimer that confidence cannot be kind, nor can kindness be confident. As a society, we have defined these words by how they are displayed by the media, politics, and public agendas. The playbook of life does not have a page in it requiring us to follow suit with the high-profile and elite members of society. For the average person, we should feel more than comfortable to be confident in our words and actions and can hold faithful to the kind character we are all capable of doing. The idea that women cannot be confident should not be a gender or status issue, but it is for whatever reason. The precedence has been set that one gender is to be kind, while the other is supposed to be confident. Being both is never wrong in my book, and it should not be in yours either. Be you in this world that is constantly telling us what mold we must fit in perfectly. Push the limits, and show this world what it looks like to be kindly confident. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2017 Too many times, profound messages and prominent actions by women have been credited with a concealed identity. It is a shame that the value and worth of their contributions to society were not valid compared to the opposite companion. I wish I could go back in time, hunt down every anonymous or penned named credit, and give them their much-deserved recognition. Even though it is a far-fetched hope, the idea behind it should stay with us moving forward. I never want this part of history to repeat itself. I commend the bravery and determination of the women who were willing to give up their identity to ensure their mark on history would be remembered, even if they were not remembered. I do not know how well I would handle having to let someone else take credit for my contribution. Actually, I can tell you I would not handle it well because a former professor had a classmate present my work on my behalf as I stood silently on the sidelines. While this was a small incident compared to the magnitude of the point here, these women had great virtue and humility to have a man come between them and their noted success. I was sincerely hoping for the glass ceiling to shatter sooner rather than later, but for now, I must work harder to see that day come. When that day comes (and it will come), I hope the shards of glass settle at the feet of the men who stood in our way for far too long. I can hardly wait for the celebration of this accomplishment, and I guarantee we will know every woman’s name who played a role in getting us to that highly anticipated day. And, if you think women talk a lot now, there is no telling when we will shut up about this. No one will dare to take this way away from us, and we will not easily give up these accomplishments to any other person who did not contribute to the cause. I recognize I am so fortunate to be able to write freely and not have to conceal my identity using an alias. But, had I grown up in a different era without a public platform to speak out for women, I do not know if I could make such an impact. I would like to think I would have hit the ground running and joined the movement long ago. With the emphasis, back on women’s rights and our contributions, I am standing in support of the efforts happening currently. We all have our part to do in this movement. Join campaigns, contact political leaders, educate friends and family, and rise to do your part to make sure history never silences women again. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2017 I once was told it was not my place to say the words I was expressing, for my tone was too sharp, I had to preserve the feelings of the other person, and that I had no right to say anything. In fear of upsetting a person, it felt as though my words of education, truth, and history had to be kept and hidden away in a secret vessel just so an insecure person could seemingly hold a higher position in society than I could. This exchange had me fuming for days, and deep down, it still revs me up, but that is beside the point. The point that does matter is this: I should not have to censor my valid thoughts and feelings to protect ignorance. I am a pretty accepting person until the ignorance card is pulled and played, and in those instances, I step on my soap box of research and feel obligated to enlighten and educate the hard-headed. To the person reading this who has never met me, you may be thinking I am a crazy confrontational person who has to have it my way or the highway. For those who are reading this and have met me, I would hope you would acknowledge my passion. I said all of that to say this: In a world driven by ignorance and a common attribute some people carry, I find it disheartening that my opinions and beliefs are discounted when posed against someone who is older and deemed wiser just because I am a female counterpart. I was not amused by the demeaning rhetoric used to scold me and my message. It did not bother me that it was a random person, but it did bother me that no matter what I said, even with research backing me, I was going to be automatically in the wrong because I was the young one in the conversation and my zipper zips on the opposite side. This person who scolded me was bound and determined to defend the person I was originally having the discussion with, and it took a turn so far away from the point, I eventually gave up. It was no longer worth my time and energy talking to a wall. With it being Women’s History Month, I am inspired by the pioneering women who paved the way for me to have my voice. With the recent revival of the Women’s Movement, I would like to think the legacy lives on, and history will continue to recognize these efforts. My passion is deeply rooted in these issues because it is empowering to know I can contribute to history and stand with other brave women who are fearlessly fierce. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2017 |
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