Chasing after dreams and trying your best to achieve them is not for the faint of heart. We always hear success stories, but often, details of obstacles and facing struggles are excluded for fear of invalidating the final result. Those obstacles make our stories instead of breaking them. They are the unsung heroes responsible for shaping us into the people we grow into being. I hit a point that no one could have ever prepared me for, and it felt like I was drowning. It is scary to look at your life and see it pass by but not feel like you are living it anymore. When I say it felt like everything exploded into a million little pieces, it may come across as an exaggeration, but at that moment (or weeks), this was my reality. I got bogged down by the whole picture again and lost sight of taking it one piece at a time. Staying consumed by deadlines and putting my best foot forward in everything became my worst enemy. Something I used to thrive on proved to backfire into burnout. Let me be super real here. Talking about the vulnerable moments of life are sometimes taken as weakness, but I think it is important to know it happens to others, so someone else knows they are not alone. When I started going to school when I was little, I had bouts of anxiety. Through the years, I was able to hold it at bay and it never really bothered me again until recently. This year threw a lot of changes my way so that paired with the high expectations I have for myself, my ability to sort my brain out and process things flew out the window, and my anxiety was brewing. I tried to ignore it for a long time, and that just made it worse. I have since taken a healthier approach to deal with the stress and the pressure. But, it is essential to recognize those emotions and not let them consume you as I did. I did not like the feeling of waking up in a panic or doing the things I love in autopilot mode just to consider it complete. I went through the motions to survive, but now I am feeling back to myself and dusting off my passion again for the reason I put myself in this stress-wad two years to reach the goals I have been working on for so long. No matter what is going on in life, there are going to be these rough patches and storms. It took hitting bottom for me to realize that life curveballs are not there to necessarily break you, but to make you stronger. Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons. While I surely did not enjoy this one, I appreciate having been there and figuring out how to paddle in the storm. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019
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