To only have one semester left of grad school seems surreal. Starting the program, it felt like the end would never be in sight, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it is shining brighter and brighter. It is hard to wrap my head around the fact that for the first time in twenty years, I will not be a student. Hallelujah!! I always said I would be a forever student, but I will be hanging up that hat very soon. This past semester was probably the best semester I have ever had in all of my schooling combined. It was the first one that my health did not stand in the way of much (aside from some migraines, but I remedied that problem). My class load was manageable, and I hit the internship jackpot as far as my placement went. I loved being split between acute care with adults and out-patient therapy with adults and pediatrics. I feel like I had the opportunity to experience the field across the lifespan and intervention areas of the field. I had joked with my friends that I had the unpaid internship of my dreams. The reality of it was that I became rich with experiences, knowledge, and compassion. I learned so much about the field and myself as a growing clinician from my supervisors and patients. There were so many times before beginning my internship that I was second-guessing myself and wondering if I was really cut out for this. Some days were more challenging than others, but at the end of the day, I am better because of the obstacles and good pushes from my supervisors and am more confident because I saw results from my actions as a clinician. I looked so forward to seeing patients and working with them to progress towards their goals. Performing swallow studies probably became one of my favorite things to do, but it was the most daunting coming into my internship. I owe an enormous amount of thanks and gratitude to my supervisors who made such an investment in my education and pathway to becoming a clinician. I will forever look up to them. Not only did I have two of the best supervisors, but I also had the opportunity to work alongside some great people at all of the facilities. Seeing collaborating between professions and being exposed to different therapeutic perspectives only enhanced my own perspectives and how I hope to interact with future co-workers someday. Being decisive has always been a strong suit of mine (aside from knowing what I want to eat). From a young age, I knew speech-language pathology was the route I wanted to pursue. When I started in undergrad, I remember sitting in a lab for my articulation and phonology class and being asked what population I wanted to work with, and I am almost sure I answered outpatient pediatrics. As the program progressed and I was exposed to more and more populations, I had no clue and bounced around just about every idea except a skilled-nursing facility (that is one setting I knew was not for me). In classes since then or when random people would ask, I would shrug and say wherever from private practice to a school. It was not until this semester that I have rounded out my indecisiveness and come full circle to feeling confident with my desired population. It was meant to be to hopefully work in outpatient pediatrics, and I have since added that I want to work with adults in acute care to keep those skills in a steady rotation. I was the first to admit that swallowing disorders was an area that terrified me to no end. The thoughts of being in a hospital with all kinds of germs and needles made me believe it was not the place for me. Despite the limitations I placed on myself, I learned a valuable lesson through all of this. There is a place for all of us in this world. I have spent many years working towards finding myself and figuring out where my place is. Had I not embraced my placement and had the mindset that a greater plan is going before mine, I would have missed out on the best experience that provided a pivotal perspective into the future I hope to have as a speech therapist. I discovered the place I unexpectedly fell in love with and met patients I would have missed. They were every bit of an impact on my journey as I was in theirs. By day two of my internship, I knew I was where I was meant to be and enjoyed being at the hospital and outpatient all the more. Being in a field with so much variety and ability to have a niche within the niche is special. Each and every day, I looked so forward to the swallow studies in the morning and the mystery caseload that I would encounter at the hospital, and by the time the afternoon rolled around, I was excited to see the kiddos and adults at the outpatient facility. The variety of cases I saw in a day’s time was the best part because the bag of tricks, so to speak, was always rotating, and I did not fall into the trap of going with the motions had I seen the same kinds of patients all day. I could go on and on about my experience this semester. As excited as I am to have another semester over and being that much closer to graduating, I am incredibly sad that this internship is over. Saying goodbye to patients on the last day was one of the hardest things I had to do. It took everything I had to fight back the tears on my last day. By the time I got home, I had to release the flood of emotions. Compared to my first year of grad school, when I actually cried every day because I did not think I would make it, crying happy tears was a good feeling. At that moment, the late nights of studying, the tears from stress, and all the hoops I have jumped through to make it to this point were all worth it. Nothing about this journey has been easy, but the worth of my journey so far is beyond priceless. I say this with every passing semester that I have learned so much about myself. Yes, I am pursuing a master’s degree to learn my future profession, but behind the scenes, I am uncovering a piece of myself with each step. This semester will stand out in my mind as being the semester that topped it all. Everything about it exceeded every expectation and hope I had about how I imagined my medical placement. In all of my apprehensions, it made me dig in deeper and push myself to learn all I could to hopefully become more comfortable doing the things I feared the most. Opportunities come and go. This is an opportunity I could have missed. I am so glad I accepted the challenge, but more importantly, embraced it. Stepping out of my comfort zone was the best thing I could have done to better my future career. I did not know it was possible to fall more in love with the field I chose to pursue, but somehow, I have. My heart is bursting at the seams with excitement and eagerness to close out this chapter of my story knowing I have seen my dreams through. When I was in the thick of it and feeling pressure the weight of a herd of elephants, this final chapter seemed unattainable. All the pieces are falling perfectly in place, and I am grateful. I will always cherish this chapter of my story that holds the pages of my dreams coming true. One thing is for sure; this may be my favorite of all the seasons of life. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019
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