Recently, I have been playing Ben Platt’s album nonstop. Especially the song, "Older," it has been my summer anthem and soundtrack to life. I have been more reflective than I ever have been for two reasons: with the quarantine, there has not been much else to do and it is surreal that this time last year I was dreaming about where I would be this year. Growing up and getting older are not synonymous, yet I think sometimes we make them fit the same mold. Getting old just happens and is an expected life cycle progression. Growing up involves taking an active role in becoming, developing, and wondering. Innately, I am a goal setter and a dream chaser. My entire journey to this very moment in my life has been geared with the mindset to always be working towards my goals until they are achieved. Now, I am finding myself reaching the greatest milestone I set for myself. People always talk about graduating, getting a job, and then landing their dream job years down the road. There have been so many nights over the last decade when I would lay in bed imagining what my dream job would look like. I could never quite picture it because up until recently, I did not know what it had the potential of looking like. Now, it is crystal clear what my dream job can look like because I have found it; rather, it found me. July of last year feels like a lifetime ago. I had just been assigned my first internship placement. I was a bucket of fears, anxiety, and self-doubt knowing I was expected to walk into a medical-heavy placement. All I knew is that I wanted to like it so much that I was willing to step out of all my comfort zones and take it in stride, and I am so glad I did not let my fears hold me back. I can guarantee my present self would be in a different place had I missed this opportunity. Fast forward to this July, I have been working for a month and learning and growing every day. Each day brings new challenges and opportunities to make a difference in someone’s life. If I am still somehow dreaming about this, please do not pinch me. I used to fight my alarms, yes, you read that right, alarms. Every day, I have woken up before my one and only alarm, bounced into action for my morning routine, and have knocked down a fair share of audio books on my commute to work. There is such an excitement I have about living the dream I dreamed about for so long, as cliched as that statement is, it is true. For the first time ever that I can remember, I do not have a next step in place or a new goal to chase. Sure, I have some little goals related to my professional life, but nothing life changing. The “type three” in me feels like I should set an overarching new goal of some sort, but the hint of being a “type four” is allowing me to be reflective and grow into the person I am becoming in this chapter. Transitioning from a student to a professional has been easier than I thought it would be, honestly. I thought I would miss the grind and the satisfaction of working hard and getting the desired grade as a reward. I am finding I do not miss that grind and often catch myself questioning how and why I pushed myself almost to a breaking point. Was it always worth it? In the grand scheme of things, sure it was because I am in a place in life that I worked hard to achieve, but I am positive I spent way too much time replaying scenarios that either never happened or were not as severe as I made myself think they were. My new grind is more thrilling in a much less intrusive way to my overall wellbeing and happiness. I am so content with the present moment in life. Each day has enough variety to keep me on my toes, yet there is a familiar routine that makes it feel so right and comfortable. I am finding in myself that I do not need something else to chase after and this feeling of contentedness is a welcomed new reality. Not to be mistaken for complacency, I will never take for granted the opportunities that have come my way and the people who saw my potential. I will continue to grow, learn, and strive to be my best. The only difference is the level of stress at which I am living with is significantly less, I am so much happier not being a student anymore (those are words I thought I would never say), and I am more in tune with an even keel approach to life. So many things have happened in just a year. Self-growth and discovery can sometimes offer the best insight. When I was younger and dreaming about what the future held, I never did it justice. Time goes so fast, but I have no regrets. Looking back, there were times I could have done things differently or taken a path opposite of what I did, but then again, I would not be the person I am or at this place in my journey without all those little moments along the way. Each day greets me with a new excitement to live out my dream and continue on the journey I always hoped to find. The moments do not have to be big, but they do have to be meaningful. Getting older has taught me the moments can pass by without a second chance. Growing up has taught me to accept challenges and savor the lessons that transpire. It means more to wonder than to settle. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2020
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Let me start by saying, as a white twenty-four-year-old woman, I have never and will never know what it is like to grow up and live in a country as a minority or know what true fear feels like. What I can understand is that the recent events surrounding the deaths of people like Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd were wrong, and the outcry from the public to make a change will not back down until it is a permanent fixture, rather than a revolving door in this country’s history. When the Black Lives Matter movement is met with the rebuttal of “all lives matter,” it minimizes the justice we should be seeking for a group of people who must prove a constant bias wrong. That is white privilege responding. Hiding behind the false unity in posing this stance only builds a wall in saying it is not worth standing up for humanity because a personal effect does not quite hit home enough to invest in the lives of others. I have been slow to react because, honestly, I could not adequately put to words all the thoughts whirling in my head. I watched the protests. The sign that broke my heart was one a child held, and it read: “When I grow up, I want to be … a scientist, a basketball player, a cheetah, ALIVE.” At such an age, dreams should be so outlandish and whimsical, yet this boy, while standing beside his mother, made such an impactful statement without ever moving his lips. No child should wonder if they will get to celebrate double-digit birthdays, or wonder if they will get their driver’s license on their 16th birthday, or wonder if they will graduate high school at 18, or achieve their wildest dreams at any age. These are the very reasons why we should rally behind them in their movement. We do not get to sit back and ridicule the events that are a result of the unjust killings of Black people. We do not get to pretend it is not happening because it somehow does not affect us the same way it does others. We do not get to sit behind a screen and troll those who have taken a stand. We do not get to tell our colored brothers and sisters how they should be feeling or reacting. What we do get to be is an ally. Be an ally for the oppressed. Be an ally for change. Be an ally for justice. Ahmaud Arbery was exercising while someone else wrongly exercised their right to aim a gun at a person. Breonna Taylor was a frontline worker shot in the very place she should have been safest. George Floyd exhausted his last breath pleading for life and air. The list could go on and on over the decades. History will continue to repeat, the corrupt will continue to be corrupt (this goes both ways), and the unjust will never meet just returns. Change is necessary. Human lives are at stake. Neglecting to recognize color and adopting the blanket statement “I see no color” only contributes to the neglect of embracing race, celebrating differences, and coming together in humanity. If we see no color, it puts a bleak filter over the heritage and sacrifices each race brings to this melting pot of human life. Generations of good and ugly cannot go without acknowledgment, and the only way to do so is to, in fact, see our world in color. In color, we see blood. In color, we see good and evil. In color, we see each other.
Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2020 If someone would have asked me a couple of months ago what my March would look like, my answer would for sure not have included being on house arrest and quarantined from the multitude of germs floating around. I would have assumed I would be finishing out my last couple of months of grad school and cranking through hours to earn my certification eventually, which I am still doing these two things, just differently. Now, my day-to-day routine consists of changing from one pair of pajamas to a different pair of pajamas, a “do not disturb” sign taped on my bedroom door in an attempt to be productive, and attending virtual meetings with my professors as if my bed (that I sloppily made) is a normal backdrop. Instead of seeing real people for speech therapy sessions, I am knocking out the last dozen hours I need on a simulation website because my internship was drastically cut short. When I am not conducting business in my home office/bedroom, I am couch surfing, Netflix binging, napping, and knitting like I am in my retirement years before my career even started. I am going to have a nice afghan to show my kids what the quarantine of 2020 was like, “picture it … it was 2020 and there was no toilet paper to be found.” This is going to be my version of my parent’s blizzard of 1978 story. It is a weird time, especially because I have no concept of time or what day it is. I used to know exactly how many days stood between me and graduation. Now, that does not really matter. The University of Toledo, just like other colleges and universities, has transitioned to online learning and the graduation we all hoped for is no more. I have gotten beyond the disappointment of that because no matter what, it is not going to take away from the degree I have worked for and earned. I have my dream job waiting in the wings, and that is what is keeping the motivation high during all of the uncertainty. The one thing that does make me sad is that our big celebration was taken from us. We will find other ways to make up for it when life resumes outside of the confines, but nothing compares to a stadium full of grads and the stands bursting with proud parents and the pictures for a treasured keepsake. Nothing can make up for our last year of grad school being cut short. Our professors have done everything to make it all work out because the show must go on, but it is not the same. My last day at my internship was not spent seeing kids; rather, it was spent packing things up, wondering if and when things would return to normal, and cleaning profusely. If I used one Clorox wipe, I used ten over the same surface. It was a really weird feeling leaving on a Friday, knowing I would not return the next Monday. There are people in my cohort and professors who I will probably never see again aside from some passive social media interactions. Just because my friends and I are separated by distance now, it has not stopped us from talking every day either by text or Zoom meetings. We did not have the chance to properly celebrate and send each other off into our next chapters, but some of us went and risked eating in a restaurant the Friday before they closed and saw a movie in a full theater before those closed too. Reckless? Maybe, but it was so worth that precious time together. I think the timing of the movie we saw, I Still Believe, was so fitting for the situation we are finding ourselves in. Of course, there are so many uncertainties in the world right now, but faith will prevail through it all. Part of this seems like a bad dream. Unfortunately, this is a hard reality to fathom even if we are all living it. I keep hearing people say, “this is the new normal.” I refuse to accept that this is the new normal. It cannot be. It is simply a new present. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2020 The last few months have been consumed by studying for the Praxis, planning therapy sessions, and attempting to maintain a healthy wake/eat/sleep schedule. Two out of those three things were more successful than the other. It has been a whirlwind since the holidays prepping for the next major steps that stand between me and graduation. There are not that many things I hate, but next to being cold, studying comes in as a close second. I never feel like it is over, nor do I feel like I could possibly cover everything I had to know. Part of my studying process was reading blogs about how other people approached tackling the Praxis. You may call it procrastination; I call it research. In all honesty, some really freaked me out, while others reinforced my lax approach. I did not have an intense study plan with a color-coded schedule and strict times set aside dedicated to studying. I did not buy any of the Praxis study books that cost twice as much as the exam itself or take any practice tests. I felt good about my decision to just study when it was convenient. It came down to the week of my exam. I told myself I would review the three areas I was dreading most just to have it fresh in my mind. Well, life happened. I got busy, did not feel that great, and was trying to stay distracted from the concept of Murphy’s Law surrounding the test. I never got around to reviewing those few areas, and I never looked at any of my notes in the week leading up to my test day. The morning of my exam came, and I was feeling surprisingly relaxed. I went to my internship as usual. There was a planned pep assembly, and in my head, I pretended that all the cheering and school spirit was just for me. Cheesy, I know, but it worked. As soon as the busses pulled out and the halls of the school were empty, it started to hit me that I was about to take the one exam that will allow me to become an SLP. The goal was obviously to pass. All I had hoped for was to see at least 162 on the score page at the end of the test. I hunkered down, ready for the long haul of the two-and-a-half hours allotment. I took to my usual testing pose of my left hand on chin, eyebrow raised, head titled, and my right hand on the mouse. It was an out of body experience. At one point around the 80s-90s of the 132 questions, I had realized I had completely zoned out and answered questions in auto-pilot mode. Who knows how many questions went by before I realized what was happening? In that moment, I felt confident that I knew this material because clicking the bubbles was a gut reaction without contemplation. After only an hour-and-a-half, all 132 questions had been answered, and I clicked the report scores button on the screen. In a flash of the screen, I saw a number greater than the minimum and took one huge sigh of relief before gathering myself to walk out of the room with my head held high. February 14th will forever be a red-letter day in my book from here on out (pun intended). My parents were probably waiting by the phone the entire time I was gone because when I called to let them know my results, the phone barely rang before I heard them both pick up and ask, “and???” From there, the plans to get a Valentine’s Day celebration dinner in motion were set. It also called for a dessert before dinner kind of celebration with my best friend before heading to the family celebration. Just as we had done when she passed the NCLEX, we had to make a froyo run when I passed the Praxis. And let me say, froyo never tasted so good! My road to passing the Praxis was probably not the traditional way one might prepare. Mine consisted of sporadic study sessions, two bags of M&Ms, and three bags of Hershey Kisses. It worked for me, and if I had to do it again, I would not change how I did it. But, thank God, I never have to take another exam like this ever again. I woke up the next day feeling like the day before was a dream. The only thing left to do was to say, “Alexa, play Celebration.” And just like on Grey’s Anatomy, I had to dance it out to celebrate. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2020 To only have one semester left of grad school seems surreal. Starting the program, it felt like the end would never be in sight, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it is shining brighter and brighter. It is hard to wrap my head around the fact that for the first time in twenty years, I will not be a student. Hallelujah!! I always said I would be a forever student, but I will be hanging up that hat very soon. This past semester was probably the best semester I have ever had in all of my schooling combined. It was the first one that my health did not stand in the way of much (aside from some migraines, but I remedied that problem). My class load was manageable, and I hit the internship jackpot as far as my placement went. I loved being split between acute care with adults and out-patient therapy with adults and pediatrics. I feel like I had the opportunity to experience the field across the lifespan and intervention areas of the field. I had joked with my friends that I had the unpaid internship of my dreams. The reality of it was that I became rich with experiences, knowledge, and compassion. I learned so much about the field and myself as a growing clinician from my supervisors and patients. There were so many times before beginning my internship that I was second-guessing myself and wondering if I was really cut out for this. Some days were more challenging than others, but at the end of the day, I am better because of the obstacles and good pushes from my supervisors and am more confident because I saw results from my actions as a clinician. I looked so forward to seeing patients and working with them to progress towards their goals. Performing swallow studies probably became one of my favorite things to do, but it was the most daunting coming into my internship. I owe an enormous amount of thanks and gratitude to my supervisors who made such an investment in my education and pathway to becoming a clinician. I will forever look up to them. Not only did I have two of the best supervisors, but I also had the opportunity to work alongside some great people at all of the facilities. Seeing collaborating between professions and being exposed to different therapeutic perspectives only enhanced my own perspectives and how I hope to interact with future co-workers someday. Being decisive has always been a strong suit of mine (aside from knowing what I want to eat). From a young age, I knew speech-language pathology was the route I wanted to pursue. When I started in undergrad, I remember sitting in a lab for my articulation and phonology class and being asked what population I wanted to work with, and I am almost sure I answered outpatient pediatrics. As the program progressed and I was exposed to more and more populations, I had no clue and bounced around just about every idea except a skilled-nursing facility (that is one setting I knew was not for me). In classes since then or when random people would ask, I would shrug and say wherever from private practice to a school. It was not until this semester that I have rounded out my indecisiveness and come full circle to feeling confident with my desired population. It was meant to be to hopefully work in outpatient pediatrics, and I have since added that I want to work with adults in acute care to keep those skills in a steady rotation. I was the first to admit that swallowing disorders was an area that terrified me to no end. The thoughts of being in a hospital with all kinds of germs and needles made me believe it was not the place for me. Despite the limitations I placed on myself, I learned a valuable lesson through all of this. There is a place for all of us in this world. I have spent many years working towards finding myself and figuring out where my place is. Had I not embraced my placement and had the mindset that a greater plan is going before mine, I would have missed out on the best experience that provided a pivotal perspective into the future I hope to have as a speech therapist. I discovered the place I unexpectedly fell in love with and met patients I would have missed. They were every bit of an impact on my journey as I was in theirs. By day two of my internship, I knew I was where I was meant to be and enjoyed being at the hospital and outpatient all the more. Being in a field with so much variety and ability to have a niche within the niche is special. Each and every day, I looked so forward to the swallow studies in the morning and the mystery caseload that I would encounter at the hospital, and by the time the afternoon rolled around, I was excited to see the kiddos and adults at the outpatient facility. The variety of cases I saw in a day’s time was the best part because the bag of tricks, so to speak, was always rotating, and I did not fall into the trap of going with the motions had I seen the same kinds of patients all day. I could go on and on about my experience this semester. As excited as I am to have another semester over and being that much closer to graduating, I am incredibly sad that this internship is over. Saying goodbye to patients on the last day was one of the hardest things I had to do. It took everything I had to fight back the tears on my last day. By the time I got home, I had to release the flood of emotions. Compared to my first year of grad school, when I actually cried every day because I did not think I would make it, crying happy tears was a good feeling. At that moment, the late nights of studying, the tears from stress, and all the hoops I have jumped through to make it to this point were all worth it. Nothing about this journey has been easy, but the worth of my journey so far is beyond priceless. I say this with every passing semester that I have learned so much about myself. Yes, I am pursuing a master’s degree to learn my future profession, but behind the scenes, I am uncovering a piece of myself with each step. This semester will stand out in my mind as being the semester that topped it all. Everything about it exceeded every expectation and hope I had about how I imagined my medical placement. In all of my apprehensions, it made me dig in deeper and push myself to learn all I could to hopefully become more comfortable doing the things I feared the most. Opportunities come and go. This is an opportunity I could have missed. I am so glad I accepted the challenge, but more importantly, embraced it. Stepping out of my comfort zone was the best thing I could have done to better my future career. I did not know it was possible to fall more in love with the field I chose to pursue, but somehow, I have. My heart is bursting at the seams with excitement and eagerness to close out this chapter of my story knowing I have seen my dreams through. When I was in the thick of it and feeling pressure the weight of a herd of elephants, this final chapter seemed unattainable. All the pieces are falling perfectly in place, and I am grateful. I will always cherish this chapter of my story that holds the pages of my dreams coming true. One thing is for sure; this may be my favorite of all the seasons of life. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 At this point, I am a professional student. I have been in some sort of school for twenty years. That feels like a long time to do anything. I am finally going to close out my book of student years, so that leads me to think a lot about what my next chapters in a new book will look like. It makes me feel excited that all of my years of education are finally paying off, and I will have a (hopeful) dream career ahead of me. Just last week, I think it finally hit me. So many of the life choices I have made have been replaying in my head recently, and I am seeing the pieces all coming together to form my big picture, ah-ha moment. Last Monday, I was subbing at the high school I attended. The day was as ordinary as all the other days I have spent subbing at that school, or so I thought. As I sat on the other side of the desk and looked into a classroom full of students who were just starting their high school career, I saw myself in them, and I could not help but think about who I was then and the person I hoped to be ten years later. Being back at the place of discovery and growth felt like I was seeing my story being rewound, and I recognized how far I have come in those ten years. I came home feeling like I was floating on cloud nine. I had the warmth and satisfaction about everything. Seeing the new generation of students choosing a path that sets them up for success and the start of following dreams, it made my heart happy for so many reasons. I felt pride in knowing the transformation that took place in me began there, and I owe so much of my journey to the person I found myself becoming then and continued to grow into as I defined my dreams along the way. For every decision I made as a young high schooler, I am proud of my dreamer’s heart to fall head over heels into my education, knowing it would be rewarding later. It was scary going to a brand new school and signing on to attend high school for an extra year. I kept having to tell myself this is for the best, and even in the uncertainty, I knew this was the path I needed to take to jumpstart my dreams. Later in the week, I still found myself reflecting back on my experiences and the people I have met on my life journey. As my friends and I gathered for our weekly Bible study at our favorite coffee shop, we read together in the book we have been working through this semester. This week’s chapter was “Define the Life You Want to Have,” and let me tell you, it hit me right in the feels. We had such fruitful discussion about the dreams we have all had, and so far, fulfilling beyond our wildest dreams. “Sweet precious one, if one day you are worried about what God is calling you to do with your priceless gift of life, listen to your heart of yours. Run like crazy down the path God has set your heart ablaze for, and the One who loves you will be around every corner, cheering you on. Be you, little one, and trust that heart God so tenderly gave you. If you don’t know what passion is yet, then keep trying things until it finds you. And in the meantime, you can build a life you dream of.” ~Emily Ley, Grace Not Perfection
Everything mentioned in this chapter of Grace Not Perfection was exactly the sentiments I had been feeling all week long leading up to our Thursday night together. I sat there underlining basically every other paragraph. I have been so blessed to have parents who have supported my dreams and pushed me to believe in them on the days I was ready to give up and never return. They respected my decision to leave the only school and friends I knew to go where I felt my dreams would be better supported elsewhere. They have celebrated my successes and comforted me in the losses. Not everyone is fortunate to have even one person cheering them on while chasing dreams, but I hit the parent jackpot with mine. For as many times that I wrote dreams on a whiteboard in my room, I would spend parts of each day imagining what reaching would look like and how it would feel. By writing it down, it became real in my mind that I would reach it someday. That someday far away is getting closer, and the dream is happening. Had I not chosen to go to the high school I did, I would have stayed where it was comfortable and familiar. By making that choice, it put me with a new class of peers, graduate a year later than I initially would have, and allow me to find the best friends I could have ever hoped for once I reached my university years. Sometimes staying where we are comfortable is not the best choice. I will be forever grateful for the path I have been traveling so far, and I can only hope the next journey will be just as rewarding. All of that to say, my dreams have always been lofty. I made a choice and the commitment not to let my dreams and aspiration take a back seat to anything. It has been a long time coming to see them come true. I am seven months away from having the key that opens the next door. This dream did not happen overnight, nor did I do it alone. The plan was set in place before I had the dream. I followed my heart and the direction that lead me to the place and person I am today. I do not know what the next ten years will hold, but one thing is for sure. The path has already been laid, and the plan has been made, I just have to discover it and follow it with the same great dedication and determination Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 Every year I tell myself I am going to do the typical fun fall activities, and it never fails that I get busy or sick right when it is peak fall season. This year was my year to get in on the fall action, and the best part was being with friends every step. A group of girls from my grad program started getting together each week for a Bible study and to support each other through the ups and downs of our program. Since it was the midpoint in the semester, it was the perfect timing to celebrate a new season and being that much closer to being done with school. Last weekend was our long-awaited fun day. It was the first time our weather was chilly, so we decked out in sweaters and boots. The three Ohioans came to my neck of the woods in Michigan, and we ventured to Gust Brother’s Pumpkin Farm for hot apple cider, donuts, pumpkins, mums, and of course, a hayride. We are honestly kids at heart, and it does not take much for us to have a good time as long as we get to be together. It amazes me how four girls who were practically strangers a year ago have grown to be such close friends, start a Bible study, and pour encouragement into each other. Much of the day was spent reflecting on how much this friendship meant to us and the thankfulness we all felt that we have been able to prioritize our week to still meet up to refuel in God’s Word. God sure knew what He was doing when He brought us to the same grad program and brought us closer. A lifelong friendship is surely in the works. The day would not be complete if we did not create an impromptu photoshoot to bask in all of our fall fest glory. And with the beautiful day with perfect backdrops, who could resist? We could not have planned a better day, and the moments will forever remain captured in a standstill memory. As for these four SLPs-to-be, we were blessed with the best for a day filled with laughs and picture-perfect pumpkin pickin.’ Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 The internship phase of grad school has been an adjustment, but one that I am loving. I am split between inpatient with adults and outpatient with pediatrics. If you know me well, you know that I hate hospitals and anything that has to do with blood, needles, and basically any bodily fluids. To say I was worried about my weak stomach and the thoughts of the kinds of medically fragile states of potential patients freaked me out would be a severe understatement. My anxiety was doing its best to play tricks on me, but I did everything I could to not dwell on my fears before knowing what it would really be like. I am now three weeks in, and to my great surprise, I love the setting, pace, patients, and variety. I have even gone out on a limb and uttered the words that I would highly consider working in an inpatient setting. This is a complete one-eighty from the tune I was singing before seeing this side of the field. My friends have even teased that I have converted to the dark side. A little back story is that we all have been on the kiddo trajectory and wanted to get our adult placement over with the first semester. My supervisors have been fantastic, and I am learning so much about the medical side of speech-language pathology, and frankly myself too. Our program’s internship coordinator knew this setting was a better fit for me, more so than I did. I am so happy she did not listen to me when I thought I wanted to be placed at a skilled nursing facility. That probably would have been the longest fifteen weeks of my life. She saw something in me that I was not able to see in myself, but I am finding the part in me who loves the hospital and the people in it. It was meant to be that I was placed where I am. The things that have always made my stomach turn somersaults, I run to without a second thought. Nothing is more rewarding than working with a patient who smiles even when they do not feel like it. Making small talk and playing even a small part in their healing process is what it is all about. And I cannot forget about the kiddos. I still have that place in my heart that wants to work with kids, and this aspect of my placement satisfies that desire. I have begun treating part of my supervisor’s caseload, and it has been some of the all-time favorite sessions. When I look back at my sessions back at the clinic, the fifty-five minutes sessions used to feel like they dragged, but now, I have thirty- to forty-five-minute sessions, and they fly by. As unrealistic as it is to customize therapy materials for each client, I enjoy doing it, and a day will come when time will not be on my side to do so. While I can do this, I am going to. Something about laminating and assembling therapy tools is so thrilling for my SLP heart. I used to think I knew exactly what population I wanted to work with and what setting I wanted to work in, but since that time, I have shifted, changed, grown, and repeated the process over and over. I am not sure where I will eventually end up, but one thing for sure is that even in all of my uncertainty, I know I am right where I am supposed to be right now, and wherever the journey takes me, I will embrace every step. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 If there is one thing I hate, it is deciding what to eat. Any other time, regarding anything else, I know exactly what I want, except when it comes to food. In elementary school, my mom packed my lunch, and for middle and high school, my dad packed my lunch. I never had to think about it. College hit, and I was kind of on my own, and let me just say, my choices looked like a third-grader had free range of the pantry. I eventually got better, but my gumption to pack a well-balanced lunch for myself significantly declined as the school year progressed. This year with internships in high gear, I knew I had to step up my lunch game. My go-to of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a handful of Pringles was (a) not going be healthy by any means and (b) probably be frowned upon as I sat around a hospital cafeteria with nutritionists looming somewhere over me. Now, this may be the millennial in me, but I am wholeheartedly hopping on the meal-prep train. I had my doubts and thought people who spent the time and effort doing such a thing were nuts, but I am now a proud convert. The three goals I wanted to achieve by doing this were saving money, eating healthy, and not spending a ton of time packing my lunch every day. I think I can confidently check off each box, and it has not even begun yet. Here is how I capitalized on time and healthy eating on a college student’s budget. I was bound and determined to make sixty, yes you read that right, sixty individually packed freezer meals to last my first semester of internships. I could easily be a vegetarian, but with the demands of a full-time internship, I know that getting enough protein would be imperative for me to stay energized and not hit my usual 3 pm yawn-fest after lunch. Out of all the protein options, chicken is the one I can tolerate the most. That is where I started. I decided that I would base my meals around three flavor profiles: Tex-Mex, Greek, and BBQ. The worst part of the entire meal prep experience was figuring the math and portions. I am not quite sure how I figured it, but whatever I did worked really well. I was out for the deals and shopping local is the key when buying quantities of fresh meat. I called our favorite local meat counter and asked what the boneless/skinless chicken breasts were on sale for this past week, and the butcher told me $2.69 per pound. I knew at the chain grocery stores the same thing was “on-sale” for $4.99 per pound. I gladly ordered fifteen pounds at that price, and when I went to pick it up later that day, he brought the chicken out to me and told me because I ordered so much and called ahead, he was letting me have it for $1.99 per pound. Savings win! I figured the fifteen pounds based on putting a half cup of chicken in each portion. I also wanted a grain just to round out a meal and feel like I have eaten more than just chicken and vegetables. My grain of choice is quinoa, a plant-based protein. This paired with the chicken, I am taking care of half of the recommended daily protein intake. I was a little intimidated by having to cook quinoa for the first time, but I have a fool-proof way that will work every time. I did my research for this part of the process. I surely did not want to waste resources on a botched attempt. After reading some other blogs and recipes, I felt like I had a good grasp of the dry grain to cooked grain ratio and the grain ratio to liquid ratio. Again, the math stressed me out because it seemed like a lot. Here is how I figured things. One cup of dry quinoa triples once cooked. For every cup of dry quinoa, there needs to be two cups of liquid. I used regular chicken broth. Low sodium can be used if needed, but I did not season it otherwise, and I was controlling the salt amounts in all other areas. Here is where the fool-proof magic happens. To cook, I dumped three cups of dry quinoa in a 9x13 glass baking dish with six cups of chicken broth, covered tightly with foil, and in the oven at 375℉ for 30 minutes. Then, I uncovered the pan and let it continue in the oven for another 30 minutes. Once out, let it sit for 10-15 minutes and fluff with a fork. Because I had to make three batches of this, I transferred the cooled quinoa into a stainless-steel bowl and covered for overnight storage in the refrigerator until the final packaging the next day. I had planned for needing 72 ounces of dry quinoa for each portion to get a half cup. Getting back to my flavor profiles, I wanted to keep this simple and pick things I knew I would not get tired of halfway through the semester. Each of the chicken breasts were liberally brushed with vegetable oil and seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder on both sides. Then, for the Tex-Mex chicken, I used Lawry’s Casero Red Fajita Seasoning, which has a good amount of spicy zing with a cool lime undertone. The Greek chicken had the addition of lemon juice mixed with the oil and dry dill weed rubbed all over. For the BBQ, I used Uncle Stevie’s Sweet-Nini Sasquatch Sauce. We stumbled on this local brand at our county fair, and I fell in love with the sweet and smoky peach BBQ sauce. The seasoning was as simple as that. These chicken breasts were huge (roughly 1.25 pounds each), and took a long time to roast, but it was worth every minute. I placed two on a foil-lined baking sheet and roasted four chicken breasts at a time. They were roasted at 450℉ for an hour, flipping them over every 15-20 minutes. Gauge your time according to the size of your chicken breasts. Okay, so you are probably wondering, “what else is she eating besides chicken and quinoa?” Well, to answer that question, vegetables! I did not want to have to buy and plan for a million different combinations, and I am okay with eating variations of the same thing. I chose six vegetables that I could tweak with different flavors, work with mixed vegetables, and most importantly, freeze well. My picks for this first attempt of meal prepping included: corn, orange bell peppers, red onions, zucchinis, brown baby bella mushrooms, and sweet potatoes. I was aiming to have a quarter cup of each vegetable in each portion, give or take. All vegetables (except sweet potatoes—only olive oil) were roasted using mild olive oil with pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder. Extra seasoning instructions are listed under the various flavor combinations. Remember, when roasting vegetables, never add salt prior to roasting. It will extract the water from the vegetables, and they will end up steaming and becoming mushy instead of enhancing the natural flavors you want to achieve by roasting. Tex-Mex: 20 packages
Greek: 20 packages
BBQ: 20 packages
I tried my best to chop everything up in similar sized pieces (half-inch cubes) because it would make roasting go more smoothly, and everything would look nice afterward. Look good, taste good, right? The roasting times and temperatures were a guessing game, but this is what worked for me. I will note that I did not cook the vegetables until they were completely soft because I still like a little crunch to any vegetable I eat, and I would be microwaving them for a “second cooking,” so that would finish them off.
This all may seem like a ton of work (and more math than I thought it would), but I think it is so worth it. I spent a day and a half planning and cooking and packaging, but my future self who is probably sleep-deprived and have better things to use a brain cell on will thank me for putting the time in up front. The way I look at it, any halfway decent fast food would cost roughly $8.50, and doing that 60 times would cost me $510 for only one semester!! What if I told you this endeavor cost me only $110. That equates to $1.83 per lunch, and I have banked $400 that can go towards gas money, a manicure, or a trip somewhere. And for an unpaid intern who would still like to have some wiggle room with the nicer things in life, I think this is better than winning the lottery. My days of making bad decisions at lunch are over. My freezer is stocked with 60 perfectly portioned freezer bags that are ready to be thawed overnight, transferred into a glass container, and reheated for the busy college student, or anyone who needs a quick lunch fix. It is time we start thinking outside the sandwich box and make a lunch worth looking forward to. They do not have to cost a lot, but they do have to taste good. I surprised myself by cracking the meal prep code. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 My summer semester is moving along quickly. It still seems surreal that I am in grad school, and that soon, I will be in my second year. This current semester has been one of my favorites. While each semester has had their highs and lows, I have somehow maneuvered through summer and truly feel like I have found my happy medium. Between the clinical experiences and courses, I am still able to squeeze in a getaway for a convention and pseudo-vacation this coming week. I just wrapped up my summer intensive clinical placement. That was my first taste of real life by putting in full days and seeing a client for more than thirty or fifty minutes at a time. I have seen my clients in the past making achievements towards goals and improvements, but when forty straight hours are spent with a client, the bounds and leaps are so evident. It was inspiring to see the impact of teamwork and collaboration on all fronts. Each night when I came home, I was absolutely drained. Each morning when it was time to go to work, I was so energized. That is when I knew this was the perfect fit for me. I gave it my all during the day, and I was ready to hit it just as hard the next day again and again. The level of trying this week was unlike anything I have experienced. Clinicians and clients alike gave it their all. Certain expectations were met and exceeded. This is not to say there were not some challenges, because there were, but it made all the triumphs even sweeter. Future clinical experiences will be hard, and so will future classes. I know when it comes down to it, I can dig deep and see it through to the end. This past week will forever be ingrained in my memory and the reminder of the reason why I fell in love with speech-language pathology to begin with. Try with all your might, and then add a little umph! Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2019 |
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