Just from my experience from dealing with people daily, my confidence is sometimes mistaken for rudeness. To equate confidence with a power trip is an unfair comparison. A snap judgment of my level of trust should not be the only factored idea to weigh on my character. The real issue I have here is the reasoning behind this unwarranted evaluation that is set to demean a woman, while confidence found in a man is a praised attribute. Having confidence should be a positive characteristic we all should have, and not be ashamed or condemned for having it. It appears it is believed kindness cannot be parallel with confidence. It is as though you can have one or the other, but not both. In some situations, it is good to be reserved in our choices, but in this case, I challenge it to the highest degree. Why can I not have both? I wholeheartedly believe it is possible to hold both virtues. It is like we are forced to decide if we are going to be a villain for being confident or a hero for being kind. That is not a decision I am willing to make. I will be the first to admit that stereotypes and gender roles have contributed to this broken belief system. By the definition of each word, I do not see how someone could argue confidence and kindness as being isolated features. Confidence is “the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.” Kindness is having “a good or benevolent nature or disposition.” Nowhere in either definition does it have a disclaimer that confidence cannot be kind, nor can kindness be confident. As a society, we have defined these words by how they are displayed by the media, politics, and public agendas. The playbook of life does not have a page in it requiring us to follow suit with the high-profile and elite members of society. For the average person, we should feel more than comfortable to be confident in our words and actions and can hold faithful to the kind character we are all capable of doing. The idea that women cannot be confident should not be a gender or status issue, but it is for whatever reason. The precedence has been set that one gender is to be kind, while the other is supposed to be confident. Being both is never wrong in my book, and it should not be in yours either. Be you in this world that is constantly telling us what mold we must fit in perfectly. Push the limits, and show this world what it looks like to be kindly confident. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2017
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