I had a random thought come to mind. Remember Harold and the Purple Crayon books? I loved them as a kid (and I still do). My favorite color is purple, so that was appealing as a side note, but I also identified with his wandering spirit and trusty sidekick of always having his crayon. Everywhere he went, his crayon was there to tell the story of his journey as it happened. I feel like even though I have grown up, my love for those stories were not outgrown. Harold trekked near and far. He captured vivid accounts of his imagination through interpretations and illustrations. I am realizing now that maybe the reason I like those books so much was that I saw myself in the fictional character. It was hard to distinguish if he was chasing the crayon or the crayon was chasing Harold. I write to live, and I live to write. It sounds cheesy, and maybe it is. So much of my life revolves around writing and continuing on life’s journey. I do not know what chapter I am currently working on, nor do I know how many more chapters I see play out. As for me and my current chapter, I am excited to see a story come together. With each new chapter, it marks the start of a clean slate and a new day brings a story. I love keeping a record of the highlights and even the low points because no matter what happens, it still all belongs to my story. There have so many nights when I cannot turn off my racing thoughts. On those nights, I revisit former chapters. I have the unique chance to do that, and I am so glad my life journal is accessible no matter where I am. Rereading some parts gives me hope and recharges my energy to keep plugging through on my journey now. My anxiety in new transitions can be my worst enemy, so as crazy as it sounds, seeing previous chapters begin and end makes it a little easier and brings comfort. I am embarking on a new chapter called grad school. Going to grad school has been the goal for a long time and starting in on tackling such a big chapter is intimidating. There are so many exciting things to look forward to, and I cannot wait to watch this chapter come to life. As exciting as a new beginning is, it has its scary elements too. I think the unknown scares me the most and the fear of not cutting it. I know my program is going to be hard, and I am ready for the challenge (I think), but it is still a real fear that runs through my head when I cannot sleep at night. I sure do not have the answers to all of these hypothetical questions or have ideal outcomes for my hypothetical situations. What I do know is that I have a more than wonderful support systems in my parents and friends. They are the real MVPs because there are very few people you can ugly cry in front of and they still like you. I know that no matter where my story takes me, these people will always be my biggest cheerleaders. So, regardless of what my chapters look like, I know I am in for an adventure and have the best supporters behind me. My goals have always been big. And I guess the saying “if your goals do not scare you, they are not big enough,” applies here and warrants the butterfly flutters in my stomach. I have gotten this far by chasing my goals and overcoming the challenges that stood in my way, and this is not about to stop any time soon. Here I go. Just like Harold, I will have a trusty pen in my hand to collect story upon story and memory after memory. This new chapter begins right now and is awaiting my pen strokes on the very first page. Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2018
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