As a budding speech-language pathologist, there are very few times I find myself speechless. In my reflections and growth from this past weekend, I remained in awe of the stories I heard and the people I met. I still did my fair share of talking, but I made a conscious effort to listen more and reflect in the sparing moments of silence. This was an experience that was unlike anything that could ever be duplicated in textbooks or learned without having a full immersion. This story begins with traveling to Omaha, Nebraska for Friends: The National Association of Young People Who Stutter Annual Convention. I have had the privilege of attending my local one-day conference for two years, so I was eager to participate in the national gathering and learn as much as I possibly could. With the start of my grad program a short month away, I knew I needed to begin preparing for what was to come as I embark on pursuing my Master’s and a certificate in fluency studies. An interest of mine is stuttering, but I do not have that much experience with people who stutter. I have always known people who stutter, but my interactions have somewhat been limited. My goal in traveling to such an event was to walk away from it having a better understanding and jumpstart my comfort level in having effective communication practices with people who stutter and their families. Attending the Friends Convention as a grad student provided me the unique opportunity to drift between sessions meant for the various focus groups, and I was in a way paired up with mentors to set aside dedicated time to talk. From spending an entire day with the young kids to listening to concerned parents to having one-on-one conversations with adults who stutter, my perspective completely changed. As much as I witnessed a metamorphosis taking place in the lives of the people who stuttered around me, young and old, I had my own version of it too. I went from trying to find my niche in the field to fearing I would make the wrong move in therapeutic practices to realizing that by coming I was already taking steps in the right direction to contribute a positive outcome in the lives of my future clients. There were so many takeaways from the convention, and this is where I struggle to put words to my racing thoughts adequately. Coming by myself gave me the chance to really step out of any comfort zone I ever thought I had. The first day of the convention offered my first glimpse of seeing what Friends was all about. I was happy sitting on the sidelines of the hotel lobby and watching other people mingle. Before I knew it, people were making me feel like I had found some long-lost family and were exchanging life updates. So, at this point, I felt right at home with complete strangers who were quickly becoming friends. I loved hearing them tell how they became involved with the organization and how it changed their lives for the better. The second day of the convention brought some eye-opening experiences to me. I listened to stories that more people need to have the chance to hear. Among other things, I learned that society is crueler than I already thought and people who stutter exhibit a level of bravery I admire. I have read stories of coffee shop employees making ordering for a person who stutters harder than it needs to be, but the stories shared in the news often times have a happy ending of a friend stepping in and advocating for a person who stutters. My heart broke as I heard a story that did not share the same empathy. I hate that we live in a society where it is okay to tease and poke fun at the things we do not understand. I listened intently to parents sharing with other parents about their fears and concerns about raising children who stutter. I especially appreciated their stories of speech therapy that included the good, bad, and the ugly. This was when I began to worry about my approach in my own practices would not be up to snuff. We are taught to reach proficiency and have numbers correlate to progress and improvements in speech programs. For speech-language pathologists who do not specialize in stuttering, I assume that this is where some questionable practices are implemented because they do not have the tools and training to work with people who stutter productively. The more I sat there, the more I concluded that this could not be the case when working with people who stutter. The goal should never be to fix a stutter because people who stutter are not broken and should never be treated as such. Working through the emotions and reaching a place of acceptance and empowerment should matter more than having a client for the sake of numbers on a caseload. Spending time together during meals were impactful experiences. This was when even more stories were shared, and deep thoughts were exchanged. I owe a special thanks to the people I shared a lunchtime with. The insight I gained from them, and their perspective of stuttering was so valuable and is something I will not forget for as long as I am doing what I love in speech. Hearing first-hand accounts of someone’s life with a stutter is the best way to learn and understand. Time flew, and I feel like that was only chipping away a fraction of the bigger picture. I love being around kids of all ages, so when I found out I would be with them a good portion of the convention, I was thrilled. Seeing kids who stutter play with kids who do not stutter made me wish more kids had the opportunity to be exposed to people who may be a little different from themselves. I think society would benefit from it when they become adults, and we would not have rude people being critical out of ignorance. The happiness these kids shared filled my heart. I could see the shy ones break out of their shell and become more comfortable talking to other kids and even adults. This transformation was crucial for them and their journey with their own stutter, and for some, it was to better grasp the idea of a sibling’s or parent’s stutter. They continually amazed me with distinct bravery and a will to overcome communicative obstacles. The close of the convention was beautifully executed. The testimonies I heard made me so glad I came. During the closing ceremony, I sat with the young kiddos who may or may not have appreciated the exchange of words, but it was really cool to see their wheels turning and figuring out how they could have their part. While some were still not too sure about it, others embraced the chance at the mic (mic drop and all), and I was so proud to see how far they came in three short days. I could not help but shed some tears when parents looked to their children and called them a hero or when children thanked their parents for bringing them to a convention like this to hear and know other people who stutter just like them. A fun weekend away would not be complete without one last meal together and the best dance party ever! Some karaoke was involved too, and at this point in the trip, my heart was overflowing with all the feels. Earlier in the day, I heard a mom make the analogy that we are all ships, and ships are safest in their harbor. The convention was our harbor where we did not have to worry about what the world thought of us or what challenges we would have to face tomorrow. It was so fitting for the kids’ first go at karaoke to be Fight Song. I will forever think of this memory when I hear that song. They are vessels who have so much to offer this world, and for them to start at such a young age exhibiting such grace and embracing what makes them unique gives me so much hope for the future. Their stories grew along with them, and whoever takes the time to listen to them will be greatly blessed, just as I was. And all those things I didn't say Everyone’s story was so powerful, and I will forever be grateful for their welcoming spirit towards me. Being in the presence and fellowship of people who stutter gave me much to reflect on, and if I had to choose a word to capture it all, I would say inspiring. This experience is only marking the beginning of growing friendships. It truly felt more like a family, and I cannot wait to reconnect through the years. Regardless of the twists and turns life takes, we have the ultimate task of showing a higher regard of empathy. It is easy to take for granted the ease to communicate, but after being immersed in a new awareness, I will forever make it my mission to listen intently, advocate when necessary, and make it known that your voice matters.
Stay Curious, Kayla ©Inquisitive Perspectives 2018
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